Thankfully, we have learned so.very.much in our years overseas - in general, much of the initial culture shock has worn off [hallelujah], although we now deal with culture fatigue (more on that another time). I thought it would be helpful to give you a glimpse into some of the day to day realities of our life here.
It is February, and it's the middle of the summer. On Tuesday, it was 97 degrees Fahrenheit. Happy summer [to this born and bred Wisconsin girl]. One major bonus that I have the doors and windows wide open nearly every day, and that is glorious. Also note: I haven't touched or seen snow in three years.
A lot of people come and go in our life here. Family visiting. Short-termers. Friends from church, our pastor. I counted at one point that the girls have enthusiastically welcomed and said goodbye to over 30 people in 2.5 years. They open their hearts so quickly, so fully, and keep giving, even as people must leave. Recently, though, one of the girls asked, "Why do people keep leaving? Why do they come, just for a short while, and then have to leave again?" This will be an ongoing joy and challenge, and sorting through grief is something we have been working on with our young kids.
We deworm our kids. Yes, you read that right. We have actually never dewormed our cat [hmm] but every six months or so, the kids all go bottoms up so we don't have to deal with other things in the bottom region. So far so good, in case you were wondering.
Medical care is much less expensive in South Africa. We've been in and out of the ER for $40. If you need a root canal, come visit and we'll get you a good deal! It will even out, we promise!
Safety is a real concern, but isn't it everywhere? Here, I'm learning to be a bit more street savvy. Things like: don't carry your cell phone in your back pocket. Don't keep your bag on the seat next to you. Drive through red lights sometimes/don't linger at intersections.
We had our first break-in last November in the middle of the night. Amazingly, the girls slept through it all, and Ben and I are working on sleeping well again. I often reflect on the Psalms and what they've taught me about safety.
There is a lot of dirt and mud [as I've written about before]. I've decided I don't care that 90% of the kids' clothes are stained/have holes, which means I'm much less anxious about life and they can play without my harping. Win win. Our kids also go barefoot nearly everywhere. This might be an adjustment when we visit the States later this year, when they learn the concept of "no shirt no shoes no service." How rude.
But I still care about my floors being clean [may have something to do with having a crawling baby]. So I sweep three times a day, and mop at least twice a week. This barely keeps it in shape.
You will likely never hit a deer on the road in South Africa; but chances are high you will hit a cow, goat, horse, dog (check, saaaad face), or monkey.
Speaking of monkeys, they are basically like squirrels in the States. Except that they will reach in your window, steal your bananas, and then sit 10 feet away eating it while cheekily watching you [true story, ask my parents].
Have we told you about our three tries rule? When we first arrived, a coworker wisely shared that we should expect that it will take three tries to get anything accomplished. At first, this was incredibly infuriating. Now, we are so elated when something gets taken care of on the first or second try. How efficient!
Ironically, it did take us three tries to get our baby's American birth certificate with the correct date and all from the American consulate. So, there's that.
Much of what we own, especially outside things, are for the community and so we must be prepared to share. Regularly there are kids we don't know playing on our swing set and Ben's smoker has properly fed well over 200 people in the last few years.
Pop-ins are common, and can happen at any time. Ben may have answered the door shirtless around 6am one day, and I've had to hide late at night in my yoga pants when the knocking began. General rule: be prepared.
While we feel accustomed to life much more these days, we still get really frustrated some days at the internet (or lack of, usually). We still are trying to sort out how to have deep and meaningful relationships here. We have not figured out how to exercise regularly, or stay in healthy rhythms (our sweet baby may have impacted that). The deepest loss felt frequently is that of family - not just family time, but also family connectedness.
And no matter how long we are here, we are confronted every day by the fact that even though we may look like we fit in some circles, we really don't. There are so many cultural differences which impact that sense of belonging. We are reminded that, actually, the goal isn't to belong - we already belong to Christ - rather, we live faithfully and sacrificially and hope that in some way, God is using us to further his kingdom and his love.
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